We’ve established change is hard…for me and maybe for you, but how do you move on and accept that things have changed?
We’ll, I’m still working on figuring it out, but there are a few things that have helped me.
Making plans and Keeping Busy
This keeps my mind occupied and keeps me from harping on the things that I don’t want to accept as my new normal. Even making plans for the weekend, including cleaning and going to the grocery store have helped to keep me going…weird, I know. I’ve found that as long as I’m moving it doesn’t give my brain too much time to analyze the things it doesn’t want to accept.
My husband and I have done a lot of projects around the house, had date nights, and furniture shopped since we left a lot in Atlanta. Yes, these are small things, but they’ve kept me busy because I’ve found when I’m left alone or sitting around that’s when my head tells me nothing is okay.
I have never liked non-fiction. Reading about someone’s life or self-help books have always sounded like a drag to me, BUT who knew…they’re actually good! I read Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis. I had no idea who she was until I saw someone on Facebook mention this book, and I thought I would take a chance on it. I also did another thing I’ve never been a fan of, I listened to the audio book. And I was surprised…in a good way.
I found the book very inspiring, and if you are a woman in need of a push in life, I suggest you check this book out. I know it’s not for everyone, but I’m glad I found this book when I did. It reminded me that I can do things, that I can be a force in my life, and I am the one in control of what happens to me. Whoa, I needed that. A kick in the pants to snap me out of the funk I’ve been in since last December! Yeah, that’s a long time to be inside your head, doubting yourself. I’m excited to read her next book, and I’m looking into other motivational books to read. I think You are a Badass by Jen Sincero might be next.
Okay, I promise I’m not her spokesperson, and I just learned about Rachel Hollis. But after I read her book, I started another thing I’ve never done, listened to a podcast. I always had the mentality that podcasts were for “adults”. For some reason, I don’t think of myself as an adult even though I’m in my late twenties. Funny, huh?
So I listed to Rachel’s podcast, Rise, going all the way back to the beginning. I’ve really enjoyed the ones I’ve listed to so far, and I feel like they have the same theme as her book. They remind you that you are in charge of your life, advice on succeeding in business and not giving up no matter how long it takes to achieve your dream.
I’ve also found some other Podcasts, though I haven’t listed to them yet, but I’m excited to.
We all need human interaction, even if you’re an introvert like me. When you’re an adult it’s much harder to make and find friends than when you were in school. When you’re an adult, much of your interactions come from being at work. At work, it’s hard to find your tribe because there is a limited amount of people in your office, and you might not click with them. When I say that, I mean you might not find that person who understands you, has the same common interests as you, and you feel like you’ve known a lifetime even though you’ve just met.
I haven’t found my person or tribe here yet, but I do have my husband. I know I sometimes I drive him crazy when I come home and talk, talk, talk but he’s the only person I have at the moment. I’m searching, hoping to find a friend, but for now, I’ll drive my husband crazy. 😉
Anyone who knows me knows I LOATHE cooking. Usually whatever I make turns out horrible or I make a disaster of the kitchen, and I don’t want to clean it up.
Cooking and baking are a thing I do now. I won’t say I’m good by any means because a lot of my ventures are flops, but it does help keep me busy. It allows me to focus on something else. And yeah eating your feelings is a thing. Don’t worry, when I bake my husband takes the extras to work so I don’t spend all day making myself sick with the goodies I’ve made.
I’ve found recipes on Pinterest and done several from Joanna Gaines cook book (I love Fixer Upper!). I’m actually going to make a cake later today after I go to the grocery store. So if you ever want to take your mind off something maybe try making something new. It’s much more fun than cleaning!
I’m hoping I’ll find other things to help me move on, but in the last couple of months, those are some small things that have helped me. Maybe even writing these words will help me write another story and find another device to help me move on. Have you ever needed to move on? What has helped you? I’d love to know because maybe they’ll help me too.
xoxo, hm sholander
*This is in no way advice; please do not take it as such. These are just my musings, and I thought I would share. If you think you need help, please seek out a professional, as I assure you, I definitely am not one.